I will make a visually stunning and compelling blog at some point.   What’s to say?

– I’m FAT!!!!  SO FAT.  240-ish pounds worth of fatness.

– But working so hard on losing it, which will be a major focus of this blog.

– But I’m sick with a cold (My god, I hope it’s just a cold! I hope it’s not the flu), so I’m not focusing on my weight loss efforts this week.  It makes me angry and frustrated, like I’m just stuck here, not doing anything! I can’t go outdoors, I can’t go to the gym and I feel like I’m ready to jump out of my skin!!!!!  Typically, illness always leads to weight loss for me because I never eat when I’m sick!  Fingers crossed, but very unhappy about the setback and also very bored.  I’m very bored, and very bedridden.

– I’m single, and have been all my life because of  ^^^^^ being too fat ^^^^^^ (and also incredibly shy, and a hermit.)    I’ve spent my twenties hiding out.   I spent my twenties living like a hermit, terrified of dating, convinced no man could ever want me.  That lack of love and partnership was hard enough when I was a twentysomething, but now that I’m in my thirties, the void in my heart is starting to become truly unbearable.  I’ve realized that the man of my dreams won’t be a shallow man who cares about looks so much, but he will care about good health.  I wouldn’t want to date a person who leads a self-destructive lifestyle.  Why would I expect Mr. Perfect to want to date someone like that?  I realize that I need to make myself the best potential dating partner that I can be, and being physically healthy is a huge part of that.

– No, I’m not “losing weight to find a man.”  I’m losing weight to avoid being dead of a heart attack before I turn 40!

– I’m all in favor of the entire fat-acceptance movement, and I think it’s all wonderful and that sort of thing, but the fact is,  I’m not feeling too healthy.  I’m all for “fat acceptance,” but I can’t support “unhealthy acceptance.”  I suppose it’s possible for some people to be both fat and healthy at the same time, but I’m sure not!   Although I generally support the fat-acceptance this is not going to be a fat-acceptance blog.

– I’ll keep this blog to tell of my dating adventures in the realms of dating.  I’ve dated 20 men so far in my life.  Dating when you’re an obese woman is incredibly challenging,  I get rejected all the time, so I think it’ll be therapeutic to chronicle my trials and tribulations.  Maybe, by talking about my dating life in public, this blog might help someone else.  America is full of overweight men and women and despite the extra fat, we’re still human beings, and we still want to love and be loved.  It seems like people never talk about the subject of fat women trying to date, although there are entire fetish sites devoted to BBW dating.

– For scientific purposes, I’d also like to keep a record of how my weight loss impacts my dating efforts.

– Losing weight is HARD!  I’d like a place to hold myself accountable, write about my struggles and my victories, and possibly make a few friends who are on the same journey.